Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Poem Feeling an Un-named Emotion

Feeling An Unnamed Emotion

Fear and depression blended into one
Catastrophic loneliness chokes me silently
Happiness and anger fight for control
What do I feel it doesn’t exist

Lost in a whirling bitter tornado of emotions
Blown apart and reformed into my emotion
It’s the only thing I feel and I don’t want it
Smothered by absent people in my life

Darker than fear or depression
Worse than loneliness and abandonment
Stuck in between the worst emotions trying to get free
Held hostage by this undiscovered emotion no one feels but me

My bleak outlook on everything is just a side effect of it
My absence of humanity is its damage to me
Fading in and out of real emotions
Why am I living life like this what am I doing anyway

I don’t make a difference im just a pawn
I have no soul it abandoned me for freedom
Form this emotion keeping me captive and killing me
No hope trust or faith in anyone or anything

You feel pity when you see this but you still don’t understand
Your darkest moments you’ve tasted it but im being fed it unwillingly
This emotion is worse than the darkest moments in life
Yet I live on feeling it and screaming for it to stop

So close to happiness I seem happy and cheerful
Inches away form depression im engulfed in sorrow
Standing in the dark background feeling a blended emotion
Of everything but this emotion has no name

TKT 7/31/06

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